Posted in being grown up

Coping with Criticism

Lately I’ve felt like the criticism has been coming from all directions. In the past couple of weeks I have been told about all my faults, and in no uncertain terms.

Image borrowed from http://becuo.comsad-girl-cartoon-images and edited.
Image borrowed from and edited.

My confidence and self-esteem have taken a massive hit. So it was that I found myself at my regular psychologist appointment with a list of all my flaws and a very fragile ego.

But as we worked through the list, I came to notice something. All of the criticisms were based on things others wanted of me, not the things I wanted for myself.

Sure, I am UNMOTIVATED to ride a bike long distances, or to run 10kms, or learn a foreign language. But I am motivated to work, read, sew, create,  travel and to spend time with friends and family.

I am UNSUPPORTIVE in that I am not a counselor. But I will cook a meal for you when you are tired. I will go for a walk with you when you need to clear your head. I will give you a hug and watch a film with you, buy you ice cream and tell bad jokes to see you smile when you are sad and smiles come reluctantly.

Sometimes, I am SELFISH and STINGY with money, because I have discipline and a goal to reach. I won’t show up unannounced on your doorstep with a gift in hand. Not because I am INCONSIDERATE, but because I am shy. But I will open my home to you. I will prepare a meal with care and share it with you from my table. I will invite you to be a part of my family and to share in my moments of celebration. I will always be grateful that you have taken the time to be with me. 

Maybe it will seem NASTY to you when I speak my truth. But I will not simply accept your criticism when I feel it is unfair. If you ask me a question, I promise that I will always been honest with you. It is not that I am INCONSIDERATE of your point of view – it is that I ask you to also consider mine.

I left my appointment with a very important lesson. We must try not to be critical of our critics. But we must always be critical of criticism.

This is Julia, being grown up.



My name is Julia. I'm 24. I like writing and making tragicomic mistakes.

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